A is for Afro

A is for Afro

A good guy friend of mine asked me the other day how my perception of him had changed since we met last year. I answered, and then posed the same question to him. He said that I turned out not to be as uppity and conceited as he’d originally thought. I was pleased that he said that, but a flag went off in my head…

You may not know this, but I have been wearing my hair naturally for about 5 months now. Meaning, I stopped putting relaxers/perms (chemical straighteners) in my hair. For a Black woman living in America, it’s a bigger deal than you would think.

To some people, hair is just hair. To Black women in particular, hair often means A LOT more. It’s a statement about your beauty, your femininity, even your upbringing and economic status. And to wear your hair in its natural state is a pretty brave undertaking if you haven’t tried it. My mother put in my first perm when I was 5 years old. It was a rite of passage for me and my sisters. We would get our hair permed before school started. I had some ups and downs, but for the most part I always had straight shiny hair swinging down my back. When our family would go out places, it was not uncommon for people to stop us and compliment my parents on having daughters with such long pretty hair.

So when my younger sister decided to stop perming her hair 2 years ago, people were in an uproar:

 “Ew, don’t go natural! It’ll look a mess.”

“Why would you want to do that?!”

But they all calmed down when she assured them she would continue to straighten her hair with heat.

When I decided to stop perming this year, I just chopped all of my relaxed hair off, leaving me with about ¼ of an inch of hair. My sister also decided to stop straightening her hair with heat, and we both have been rocking natural styles ever since. You wouldn’t believe how it’s changed things.

View my relaxed hair----> here (November 2009)

View my Natural hair----> here (November 2010)

My friend is not the first person to tell me that he thought I was snobbish before they actually met me. He’s not the second person, or the third person…you get the idea. For as long as I can remember, people have always said that about me and my family members.

Until recently.

For some reason, since going natural, people see my hair in an Afro or a twist-out and immediately assume that I am friendly and approachable. They smile and introduce themselves to me and we chat it up like long-lost friends. The kicker? I am approachable and friendly. I have always loved meeting new people and making friends. Except for a wonderful confidence boost, nothing about my personality has changed since going natural.  But what if I really was stuck-up?

      

Does having an Afro make that easier to see? I don’t know. But my friend’s comment made me think. I’ve been guilty of assuming silly things about people, or worse, going off of what someone else told you about a person you don’t even know. And the more I think about it, that’s so lazy! How can you let something like a person’s hair choice dictate their approachableness? Is approachableness even a word??

Anyway, I want to know what you think. Have you ever assumed something about someone that was totally off? Or vice versa?

Much love,

~Tiarra