Uncontrollable Anger

I have anger issues.

I don’t know how else to say it.

Looking at the words make me feel strange, because kindness and generosity are such big parts of my personality, I hardly ever pay attention to this “little” one.  But I realized for the umpteenth time tonight that I am a woman of extreme emotions.

When I’m happy, I’m very happy.

When I’m hurt, I’m very hurt.

And when I’m angry…woe unto the creature that experiences my righteous wrath.

The situation tonight that provoked my anger had me so blinded, I didn’t even realize that I was yelling in public over the phone for all to hear. I really didn’t. All I knew was, someone had done me wrong and I had a right to let them know how I felt. And I expected everyone to agree that yes, I was right (I was). But then a loved one approached me and threw me a curveball I certainly didn’t see coming-

“Tiarra, the bigger issue is that you can’t control your emotions. It doesn’t even matter if you were right or wrong.”

I’m not even going to post what I was thinking after I heard that. But it wasn’t pretty.

Because I knew the loved one truly has my best interest at heart, I bit my tongue and heard them out. My mind was flying in a million different directions though. My emotions were raging, and I was working overtime to try to sort them out. I got confusion under control. I got indignation subdued well enough. I was even able to put aside the hurt I felt at being called out.

But that one emotion, anger was being stubborn. So I shut my mouth and started writing and praying.

Father, can You take this one?

~Tiarra